A good majority of guys have no clue about how a girl’s mind is different from a guy’s mind and this causes them to feel confused about a girl’s behavior, leading to some unnecessary confusion, friction and break-ups. The good news is that girls, by and large, have a similar mind make-up irrespective of their background – this makes it easy to “predict” a girl’s behavior and once you understand the various “dimensions” a girl’s mind you will have a huge advantage over guys who are clueless about it – also, a girl gets easily attracted to a guy who is able to understand her heart/mind because he’s a rare commodity because, as I mentioned before, majority of the guys are clueless about the way a girl’s mind works.
Note: We are discussing “girls” in this article, not “women”. Most girls above the age of 28 start moving into womanhood, and their mindset becomes different (more mature) in some ways. I will discuss understanding a “woman’s mind” in a different article.
Below are the insights to understanding a girl’s mind.
Girls don’t like making decisions
This is true for 98% of the girls, the other 2% are just special cases who have a different mindset. The reason why a lot of guys mess up in their relationship is because they fail to understand this equation in a girl’s mind. If the girl feels that you are an “undecided” person who places the onus of making decisions on her head, she is bound to start losing her attraction for you. Girls love guys who can make decisions for her and for themselves. This is one reason why guys who know what they want, and are connected with themselves, are so attractive to girls.
It’s okay to let her make some decisions now and again, if she wants to. But the rest of time, you need to be the “decision maker” in the relationship. It’s doesn’t really matter if you make “wrong decisions”, what’s important is that you don’t get into a self-critical mode – if your decisions go wrong just be chilled about it, and she won’t mind it at all. Girls are very understanding, and always willing to forgive – they don’t mind a guy making mistakes. Take the time to look at your relationship to see if you’ve messing up in this area.
Girls don’t like emotional neediness in a guy
If there’s one thing that offsets most girls it’s the pressure of emotional “neediness” from the guy. Most girls aren’t really great at handling their own emotions let alone taking on the emotions of the guy. A girl would feel highly confused when a guy puts the load of his emotional issues on her, she feels suffocated when this continues to happen and starts distancing herself for this reason. If you are a guy with emotional hang ups, don’t make your girlfriend your “counselor” – she may tell you that she wants you to unload your emotions on her, but when you really start doing it she would start feeling suffocated by it soon enough.
Girls are more attracted to guys who are emotionally stable, someone who can handle her emotional outbursts without unloading his emotional conflicts on her. Moreover, girls feel a tremendous mental pressure when she’s given the responsibility of handing a guy’s emotional issues. In most cases, they would take the path of least resistance and simply break off the relationship. This is a big part of understanding a girl’s mind. As a guy you would need to develop the strength to resolve your emotional conflicts within yourself without burdening your girlfriend with it.
Girls need their space
Girls do need some “alone time” or time off with her girlfriends, now and again. Don’t cramp her space too much and when she wants to be alone just let her be alone instead of getting after her case about it. When she wants to be alone, she’s not in a mood to talk so it’s best that you don’t force her to talk to you. Just give her space and let her know that she can talk to you anytime she feels like it. Don’t get angry with her for wanting to be alone, don’t force her to share her issues with you when she needs her space – sometimes girls just need a “good cry” alone for “no reason” to just unburden their emotional pressure.
Girls can be upset for no reason
Girls have way more hormonal issues to deal with than guys, and in a sense girls do get pretty moody with some totally out of the blue mood swings. As a guy you need to understand that a girl can be upset for no reason at all, and you don’t have to assume that she’s upset with you. Just ask her if there is a reason for her being upset, and if she’s not sure just let her be. Don’t be a pest asking her what her problem is, when she says “I am not sure” she mostly means it. If a girl is really upset about something regarding you, you can be sure that she will bring it up soon enough. She will appreciate it, if you understand her mood swings and not pressurize her to be in a “good mood” all the time.
Girls are attracted to your sincerity
Girls can feel a sexual attraction towards a good looking guy, but if he lacks charisma/sincerity this attraction can fade in a second. On the other hand, a girl may not immediately be attracted to an average, or below average, looking guy but if he has a good charisma, someone who is “genuine” in his behavior, she will develop an attraction towards him after the first few interactions. By this “charisma” I don’t mean any superficial confidence but rather a “personality” that makes a girl feel comfortable and happy in the guy’s company.
Most girls would not get into a relationship purely on the basis of a guy’s looks, what they really get attracted to is the “make-up”, or personality, of the guy – so if you are average/below-average looking but are a “charming guy” in terms of personality you will score with the girl. Guys are more shallow than girls in this respect because most guys are more interested in a girl’s looks than her personality.
It’s true that good looking guys have an advantage in that they can be assured of less rejection rates during the first contact, they might even manage to get a girl’s number more easily than an average looking guy, but this advantage is soon lost if the guys lacks the charisma to keep the girl interested.
Girls fall in love with the good guys
Most guys act like total douches to show off their “manliness” because they feel that a girl would be impressed by this external show of bravado, but that’s hardly the case. A girl feels more attracted to a sensitive, mature and emotionally intelligent guy more than a douche who is acting superficially confident by throwing his weight around. Girls really do love “good guys”, it’s just that most good guys are too shy to approach girls and hence don’t make a score. A douche on the other hand is pretty brash in his confidence and thus approaches girls more easily and usually makes the initial score due to lack of competition – of course he gets dumped quite soon. A “good guy” who can understand a girl’s mind and make an approach, will definitely score a long term relationship.
Girls like to be silly
If you could hear the stuff that girls talk to each other, as a guy, you would find it rather silly, but that’s the type of conversation most girls (almost 90%) are into – the silly, light-hearted, funny conversations. So keep your political and deeply philosophical talks to your guy friends, and be light hearted in your conversations with your girlfriend. Be willing to humor her “silly” talks without putting her down or ridiculing her for it. Don’t make her feel that she can’t be her silly self with you, or else she would just stop being herself when she’s around you, making your relationship become less authentic.
Girls are rarely rude when approached
Of course there are exceptions, but most girls are very friendly in their communication when they are approached by a guy. A lot of guys are afraid of approaching girls because they fear they might get a “rude” rejection or cold shoulder, but in most cases a girl would never be rude to a guy who is being nice to her or being polite with her, of course if you act a like total douche it’s possible that she gives you a piece of her mind. Don’t be afraid of approaching a girl, just be friendly in your communication and she will be friendly with you. Majority of girls are kind hearted and they don’t mind being approached by a friendly guy – in fact most feel complimented when this happens.
Girls love being complimented on their intelligence
As a guy, if you can make a girl feel important in your company she will be automatically be attracted to you. Most girls have a feeling that they are dumb (no matter how high their IQ is), and hence feel gratified when they feel complimented for their intelligence or talents or personality. Girls do love compliments about their looks – but what will make her feel more special in your company is if you recognize some aspect of her intelligence or talent, that would show her that you connect with her at a level deeper than her looks.
Girls enjoy sex with an emotional connection
When a girl feels emotionally connected with a guy she finds the sex more fun, enjoyable and passionate. Girls literally get turned on by the emotional attraction they feel for a guy, more than the physical aspect alone. Of course there are girls would don’t need an emotional connection to enjoy sex, but most girls do feel more passionate and turned-on when they are with a guy they feel emotionally connected to.
Girls like to test you
It’s common for girls to test a guy’s commitment or confidence now and again, through indirect questions or some “act”. Always remember that girls are attracted to guys who have their own lives, who are sincere in their personality, who are not dependent on the girl’s approval and who don’t feel needy of love – through her tests she would want to confirm if you fit this picture. The more tests you fail the more likely you are to lose her attraction towards you and the more tests you pass the more confident she feels in the relationship – it’s strange but girls continue to do these “tests” no matter how long the relationship has been.
In conclusion
Girls are very predictable in their behavior, it’s mostly the guys who are varied in their nature and it’s more difficult to predict the behavior of a guy than to predict the behavior of a girl. Understanding a girl’s mind gives you an advantage it’s best if don’t try to manipulate a girl, rather just uses this knowledge to make your connection deeper. The bottom line is that if you are a guy who is connected/aligned with himself, you will have no problems connecting with a girl because girls totally accept a guy who accepts himself totally.