Most of these questions usually arise in guys who are in the age group of 15-25 or in some cases even in a 30 year old.
The mind is constantly insecure and it’s asking questions like:
- Is my girlfriend right for me?
- Am I feeling complete when I am with her?
- Is my girlfriend really in love with me?
- Do I deserve a better girlfriend, am I underplaying myself?
These questions usually point to the fact that you are seeking something which is yet unfulfilled. The very fact that these questions arise in your mind prove that there is something lacking in the relationship. The reasons for feeling this lack are as below:
- Your girlfriend does not seem to show the kind of love you want from her (usually this is the main reason).
- Your girlfriend is not spending a lot of time with you.
- Your girlfriend seems to lack interest in you and seems too busy with other things.
- You don’t feel close to her emotionally, in other words, she is not really there for you when you are feeling down and upset.
- She is not very committed to the relationship and shies away from any talk relating to long term commitment (like marriage or live in).
- She seems to prefer spending time with her friends and family rather than with you.
The list goes on, but the bottom line always is that you feel a sense of lack in the relationship. You may not even be able to pin point the exact reason why you feel this lack, but you know it’s there.
Is your girlfriend in love with you?
This is the only criteria to know if she is right for you. If your girlfriend is not in love with you or if she is undecided, then it would point to a lack of connection between the two of you.
If you don’t meet up with her expectations, she would lose out on her love for you. You cannot consciously meet anyone’s expectations and neither can you expect the same for the other person. It happens naturally, that’s what connection is all about. Some couples just click because they just fit into each other perfectly.
So if your girlfriend is not in love with you, she is not to blame and neither are you. It just indicates a lack of connection between the two of you. You can give your relationship some time, but if it does not work out then you just need to move on without adding further pain to yourself.
Are you in love with your girlfriend
If you feel a lack of love towards your girlfriend, you have to accept the reality and know that she is not right for you.
You don’t need to beat yourself up for not feeling the same level of love for your girlfriend as you imagine you should. Lack of love in a relationship is usually due to lack of connection. You cannot make it happen, it just happens naturally.
You cannot help if you don’t feel that passion and love for your girlfriend. They are signals indicating that there is a lack somewhere in the relationship. You cannot fill this lack by trying to change yourself, that does not work.
Come to terms with the reality. Acceptance of things as they are is the best way to move forward and end the confusion.
Should I work on the relationship?
It depends on what you are going through. If it is just a temporary lull which has entered into your relationship, there might be some external factors which might be causing it, such as,
- Work related issues (exam stress and job stress can have an impact on your relationship).
- Lack of communication.
- The need for some space (happens in long term relationships).
- Family issues or other personal problems.
Your girlfriend might just be stressed out because of a lot things temporarily. You can just work at giving her some space and keep yourself busy with other things. If she continues her behavior of being distant, you need to have a talk with her and find out the reality.
It does not help to work on a relationship which is as good as over. The moment you lose out on love it is over, it does not matter whether it’s you or your girlfriend. You cannot control the person’s mind or emotions, so accept things as they are without making it too personal.
Don’t worry about a break off
Break offs happen in several relationships. It is better to end something which is getting toxic than to persist with it. Just don’t make it personal because it is not. You cannot control the way you feel or the way the other person feels.
Most people take break offs too personally. Whatever happened, you are not to blame. You were being yourself and the other person is doing the same. There was just a lack of connection between you two so it was never meant to be anyway.