When you know you are in love with a girl it’s time to let her know. Proposing to a girl of your love for her, is not as big a deal as most guys end up making it to be. To most girls it would be obvious already that you are in love with her. So it’s not gonna come as a surprise; so relax you are not going to scare her. On the contrary if your proposal surprises her genuinely then you are back to square one. Most guys misread the cues and end up making a fool of themselves. It’s important to take a reality check, does she love you? Don’t go by words, just go by her actions. Actions speak louder than words, and it was no moron who said that. Just evaluate her actions and see if it depicts love for you.
Does she love me?
You are in love with her, so we are clear about that. What about her? Love is not a one way street, in-fact one way love is painful. So before you commit your heart to her, it makes sense to know for sure whether she loves you or not. One clear way to know if she loves you is to propose your love to her of-course. Her reply will give you the reality of the situation. If you are one of those gutsy pikes I would recommend this course of action. But there are a few guys who cannot take rejection so easily; in-fact it can leave a bad memory behind. So it makes sense to evaluate if she loves you to a certainty before you propose to her.
Here are a few tips to know if she is in love with you. Some of them may not be applicable to your specific situation, just ignore them.
- What did she do on your birthday? Did she try making it a special day for you?
- Does she look forward to spending time with you, or does she make excuses about being busy.
- Has she ever cried when you got angry or upset with her?
- Does she look at giving you pleasure or is she more concerned about herself?
- Does she genuinely miss you when you are away from her (it’s an instinct within, believe it)?
- Has she ever disclosed something, about her, to you which her close friends are not aware of?
- Has she ever cancelled her evening plans when you called for a sudden date?
- Has she cooked for you without your asking for it?
- Does she laugh a lot when she is in your company?
- Is she genuinely interested in how you spend your day?
- Does she feel jealous when you talk about other girls?
- Did she ever surprise you with a gift, getting you something you wanted badly?
- Is she concerned about your spending habits, rather than enjoying you throwing your money away?
- Does she trust you when you are driving? Most girls in love trust their guy completely with everything.
- Does she touch you more often than you touch her?
- Does she kiss you at-least as many times as you kiss her? Or is she always worried about her lipstick?
- If you have an opinion does she usually support it or oppose it? When a girl loves you she will usually not oppose your opinions even if she does not believe in them.
- Do you think she would still love you if you did not have that job or that kinda money?
- Would she rather spend a quiet evening with you or does she insist on you taking her out? (Girls like going out but when in love she would rather just spend quality time with you than go to a crowded party)
- Have you ever caught her staring at other guys when she is with you on more than one occasion?(This could indicate a low interest level in you)
- Does she believe in your ambitions or is she sarcastic about them? (If she loves you she will support you not matter how dreamy your ambitions may be)
This is not an exhaustive list, but it contains several pointers which can guide you towards knowing if she loves you. Follow your instinct in these matters, your mind will always want to believe that she loves you. That’s why it’s important to take a reality check.
She loves you, now what?
So you have concluded that she loves you too, based on the pointers above and your instinct, well then it’s time to propose. Let her know in no uncertain terms that you are in love with her by saying the three words “I love you”.
You can make this into a magnificent affair, take her to a five star hotel in a limo and then get down on your knees in front of several people and tell her that you love her, if that’s what you want to do. Just remember that she will find it just as special if you proposed to her in a car (if she loves you for what you are rather than what you can give her).
In fact it’s a better option to propose to her in a simple setting, maybe over a small dinner at home or while you are walking along the beach. That way you will be more human than a money vending machine. Don’t try to impress her, that will come off as being needy. You don’t need to get her to a five star hotel to propose, that might even be awkward for her. Simplicity is always the best way out. It’s usually the small things which make a huge difference. You can use the below pointers while you propose to her.
- Look her in the eyes when you say it, they might get moist.
- Be close to her face when you propose, and say the words “i love you” very softly.
- You don’t need to do that “going on your knees” routine, it’s a bit awkward and too clichéd to start with. It’s your wish though.
- Don’t take a ring with you, you are not proposing marriage here.
- Once you have spoken the words “I love you”, just maintain silence. Don’t say anything else. It’s her turn to speak.
- Be sincere when you say these words, obviously it’s important to you.
Well the hard part is over, everything that happens after this would be for your own good. If she loves you, she will tell you then and there maybe with moist eyes or with a sweet smile. If she does not love you well read on..
Handling a rejection
If she says she does not love you, take it on the face value. Don’t ask her for reasons, that’s stupid. Don’t get angry with her for not loving you; that would be childish. If she is a considerate girl she will take the time to explain the lay of things. May be she will tell you she is not ready for a relationship, that she wants to be just friends with you. May be she is just not sure of her feelings, that she needs time, or something along these lines. Here are some responses you can take as positive:
- I am not sure if I am ready for a relationship yet (this could be positive, meaning there is still hope).
- I need some time to think about it (there is some hope).
- All this seems a bit sudden (may be with time she will start loving you).
- Let’s just be friends (almost hopeless, just leave her completely and see how it works).
Responses which are along these lines would indicate that you jumped the ball too quickly. Anyways you need to give her time, so don’t force anything upon her. Give her a lot of space, maybe just avoid her for a few days so that she knows what she is missing. Get out of her life, avoid her calls, avoid talking to her, there is good chance that she will realize that good things in her life had a lot to do with you. She would finally comfort you of-course and that might be the time when she says “I love you too”. It has happened in most relationships. It’s a common thing for a girl to realize her feeling for you only after you tell her about your feelings for her.
The last thing you want to do is get into the friends zone with her. If you say something like, it’s okay, if you don’t love me let’s just be friends; that’s a big mistake. If she does not commit herself just leave her, avoid her, stop talking to her even if it’s really tough for you. Learn to suck it up, don’t give in to your emotional pressure. She will know what she is missing only if you give her a chance to miss you.