All guys are internally alpha. There is not much to develop as there is to inhibit unconscious behavior. Certain behaviors don’t work well in a relationship. Girls prefer to play the submissive role and they expect the guy to be more decisive and dominant. This is the natural way of things as it were. There are relationships where the girl seems to be more dominant than the guy, the chances of these relationships working well is a little slim.
As a guy you need to understand that in your relationship you have to be the dominant and decisive force. Girls like it that way no matter how staunch they are about declaring the opposite to be true. Always remember the thumb rule, “Girls don’t like making decisions”, you need to be the guiding force in her life. She would rather just relax in your company knowing that you will take care of things. Most of the best relationships work this way.
Your girl would find it very attractive that you are in control. She would rather have things your way than take decisions of their own, why? Because she is made of sugar and spice and everything nice, got it?
It Is Your Responsibility to Take Decisions
If you are taking her out for dinner be sure of where you want to take her. Don’t ask her where she would like to go once she has settled in your car. Usually if you ask her decision, it would be common for her to answer with a “you decide”. She would want to know how decisive you are, about your taste and your knowledge of the worldly things. So take some time to do research, it’s easy nowadays. There are lot of websites that would tell you about the best restaurants in your area or the best pubs to visit.
Of-course you can ask her if she is okay with the place you are taking her. Mostly she would not oppose as long as it’s not something she is uncomfortable with.
If you are going on a date you will need to fix the time when you want to pick her up. Be sure of the routes you are going to take. If a change of plan is required, then be quick about your decisions. It’s okay to be wrong, but if you are indecisive it will be a turn off for her. Girls are very forgiving and they wouldn’t mind if you lost your direction or if you couldn’t find a parking place or stuff like that. Don’t worry about the these things, just remember you need to be decisive even if your decisions go wrong.
Don’t Panic or Get Frustrated
Keeping your cool is of essence. Remember the thumb rule, “Panicking or worrying does not solve a thing” so be relaxed. Let things take their own course; cause everything works out for the good.
If you run into a traffic jam and get late for a movie, try not to get frustrated. Girls scare easily and they like to be in the company of someone who doesn’t fear much. When you are stuck in a tough situation the girl would look up to you for guidance. So be ready for taking up responsibility for her safety. Don’t panic no matter what happens, it’s a huge turn off for girls. Of-course you will have her sympathies but it’s not the same as attraction.
The alpha attitude has all to do with being relaxed. Don’t let situations control your behavior. No situation is ever permanent, so it does not make sense to any situation so seriously.
Don’t Enter into Arguments
There is a saying, “Argument is the worst form of communication”. Rightly so, no one ever wins an argument so why involve yourself in it. Arguing with your girl about anything will only make you look insecure or defensive.
It’s easier to be mysterious; why do you want to reveal your point of view apart from proving that you are right. It’s an ego’s need to always try to defend one’s opinion. You don’t need to do it. Defending your opinion might win you an argument but it will lose you a lot of attraction.
Remember the goal, you want the girl to find you irresistibly attractive. During conversations there would come a point when she tends to disagree with your opinion of things. Don’t try to defend your opinion. Remember the fact that truth needs no defense so if you believe in your opinion then you don’t need to defend it. Relax and let her give her opinion, then with a casual “alright” just change topics.
Let her know that you are not the kind of guy who will be dragged into arguments. That will increase her respect for you tremendously. It’s difficult to find people who are conscious enough not to enter into arguments. She will know you are one of them and so you will be a rare a catch for her.
Don’t Hesitate to Walk Away
Girls have an uncanny instinct to test guys. They do it out of their need to determine if your attitude is a sham or if you really are what you seem to be. It’s easy for them to make out a show of confidence. Guys who try to fake it never make it with girls. You can’t pretend to be confident if you have not perfected your body language. That’s why I urge you to practice till it becomes a part of you.
In-spite of all that, girls can spring a few surprises. Be careful not to fall into the trap. You might have to endure a little pain, a little uncertainty or sometimes a little jealousy but don’t ever succumb to it. Remember the thumb rule “You are the prize and she needs to get you” not the other way round. This is what you want her to believe always.
If there ever arises a situation when she tries to insult you or tries to show you down, just walk away. Don’t defend your point, don’t argue, don’t talk at all. Just walk away, you can obviously put in a bland exit statement like “I am leaving” or something like that. Don’t turn back, she asked for it in the first place so it’s okay. It wont be long before she calls to apologize. She will learn never to treat you in a negative way and her respect for you would have raised a hundred fold. If you sit around taking insults from her then you are in for life time of suffering. She knows now that you can walk away and leave her alone anytime you decide.
Don’t Fall for Her Moods
If she pouts or sulks suddenly for no reason at all just ask her if she is okay. The most common response would be “I am okay, don’t worry about it”. It’s best to not follow up on that. You cannot change a girl’s mood by concentrating on it. If you keep asking her what’s wrong, it will only instigate her to sulk more and she will get irritated with you. Why bother, is it really important for you to know why she is sulking? There could be hundred reasons, something as small as a bad hair day can make her sulk. Forget it, don’t be her counselor.
If she is in a bad mood, let her be. Act as if you did not notice and live in your world. If she has a genuine problem she will let you know even without you asking about it, and if the problem is silly she would know that you don’t care for it.
Most guys fall for the “bad mood” test. They get concerned and ask her what’s wrong several times till she asks him to leave her alone for sometime. You don’t want that happening. Remember the thumb rule “Always live in your world”, don’t try to enter into hers. She will love you for the space you give her.
If she approaches you with a genuine problem use your ingenuity to solve it. Don’t ever ask her to get out of her bad moods, she has the right to be the way she is. Girls have mood swings a lot more than guys. It’s okay; they have the hormonal fluctuations to deal with. It has got nothing to do with you, so relax. Last thing she wants when she is in a bad mood is for you to get overly concerned. Your job is to be the source of strength and coolness. Stick to it.
How to Treat a Girl
Let me summarize the aspects of alpha attitude. The key is to remember that you are the dominant force, you take the decisions, you are the pillar of strength in the relationship. It is a responsibility, but it’s ingrained. All guys are internally alpha. Key points to remember are:
- Don’t let the girl draw you into an argument, it’s a no win situation for you.
- You take the decisions in your relationship, don’t fall back on her for anything.
- There would be a few things she might be good at and girls love to help out. Don’t worry about asking her to help you out with something you are not good at, like “paying your bills” or something. Just make sure you don’t seek or beg for help, just ask for it or demand it.
- Always be dominant, girls like being submissive. This is true for all the girls.
- Don’t let her moods influence you. Never ask her to change her mood, it never works out that way. The best thing to do is to let her be.
Domination is Not Being Abusive
The reason why we see a split in most of the relationships nowadays is because guys are not sure of the stand they need to take. Girls have never been great at decision making, in-fact rarely does a girl ever know what she wants. Don’t depend on a girl’s decision because she would say something which she does not really believe in. She might tell you indirectly that she hates your dominant attitude, but internally that’s the reason why she gets attracted to you. Thumb rule, “Do what you think is right”.
All around the animal kingdom you will always come across the “male domination” factor. By domination I don’t mean abuse. Being abusive is a sign of insecurity. Domination is a sign of confidence. You don’t force anyone but follow what you think is right. Don’t abuse a girl ever, not physically or mentally. Girls are very delicate inside, they have a soft heart even when they try to pretend that they are strong. It’s easy to hurt a girl physically and mentally, but it will only show how insecure you are about yourself. To take on a girl is like taking on a kid, don’t even think about it.
Get this clear, domination is not about being abusive. Domination is all about strength of character, integrity and decisiveness. Respect and attraction go hand in hand, you can not have one without the other. If a girl respects you she will feel a lot of attraction.